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  “I think the wind’s picking up a bit,” I whispered and then all went black.

  In a matter of minutes we were at his car; the same clearing on the highway where Claire had parked hers. It felt as though we had descended somehow, his feet landing on the gravel with a slight crunch. He managed to open the door for me without setting me down and had me inside and buckled up by the time I opened my eyes. He gestured to a large cup of coffee in the cup holder, still steaming through the little opening in the black dome lid.

  “I thought you could use this.”

  “How did you know I was…?”

  “Just drink.”

  Mmm. Caramel Macchiato.

  The bitter liquid burned the raw lining of my throat on its way down but that didn’t stop me from taking huge gulps. I couldn’t resist its warmth. I was chilled to the bone and my nerves were ripped to shreds.

  The inside of the Jeep was toasty, as though it had sat idling with the heater blowing while Garreth combed the woods in search of me. My muscles began to unclench as my body slowly reheated itself. Garreth smiled at me as I sipped my coffee with trembling hands, and listened to the precious silence.

  Then it dawned on me how quickly we had made it to his car. My trek with the others had taken much, much longer. I was sure of it.

  “How did we get here so fast?”

  “You fell asleep.”

  “You carried me the whole way back?”

  I was horrified at the thought of my dead weight in his arms. There wasn’t much Garreth couldn’t do. His angelic abilities never ceased to amaze me, despite how he claimed he would soon be losing them. I didn’t want to think about that right now so I thought of how it had taken a lot for me to navigate my way to the rave, fully alert. I felt guilty about using up the precious warm light he had given me, though a lot of good it had done me tonight. The mental picture of me tripping like an idiot mortified me so I shoved the thought out of my head.

  “How on earth did you manage, walking through pitch black woods carrying me? I’m not exactly light.”

  “Who said we walked?”

  Disbelief must have sparkled across my face and he laughed in response to my ability to once again be dumbfounded.

  Hesitantly, I found my voice. “Would you...would you show me sometime?”

  Garreth cocked his head to the side, as if reading me.

  “I meant, would you show me how we got here so quickly?”

  “I would show you anything.”

  My heart pounded in my chest at the sound of his voice. We passed Claire’s little white car parked on the side of the turnoff. It made my chest squeeze tighter and I felt the dry lump forming in my throat.

  “She’ll be all right, won’t she?”

  “That depends.” Garreth’s voice was soft but I could tell he was holding back.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Remember when I said things were already set in motion? When a person starts behaving in an unexplainable or uncharacteristic manner than their normal personality, it usually signifies that their Guardian has been...corrupted.”

  I thought back to how staggeringly different Claire had been this evening—the hair, the clothes, the music. Even the extreme alterations to the stereo and the disregard for her brother were most definitely not typical of the Claire I knew.

  “She wasn’t herself at all. It was like Invasion of the Body Snatchers but...real.” I sighed heavily.

  The way Claire was adopting Ryan’s interests wasn’t right; in fact, it was border-line unhealthy. I thought of the icy temperature change I had just experienced. That, paired with the whole no-breathing thing, was way over the top. I just didn’t want to go there.

  “It’s as if she’s lost her identity.” I stared out the window, letting the motion of the car numb me. “All along, I thought Ryan was a nice guy. I never even knew he hung around Brynn.”

  “Exactly. Like I said before, uncharacteristic behavior.” Garreth sighed, as we drove into more civilized territory. I could see the lights of an Exxon station a few miles down the road and I instantly felt more at ease, although the headache I had been brewing at the rave was in full swing now. And something occurred to me.

  “Garreth, what is Hadrian like?”

  He slowed the car to a stop and looked at me intently. “Well, he’s very...dignified, if you can believe that. There’s a certain aura about Hadrian when someone is in his presence. That person is awed by him...almost mesmerized.”

  I had a disturbing feeling that I just couldn’t make clear. My thoughts kept switching from the vexing evening I was now trying to forget, to the dark wings that fluttered in my room on occasion. Something was there...here. Something to be pieced together, only all the pieces weren’t available...or perhaps they were, but they just weren’t cooperating yet.

  I struggled with asking the bizarre. There was something about Ryan, some link to Hadrian I wasn’t getting. All I could think of was how I felt when Ryan was sizing me up. It was definitely some psychological game he had played with me but I felt more demoralized, more threatened than humbled by him. No. The puzzle I was toying with in my head wasn’t fitting together. Ryan and Hadrian couldn’t possibly be one and the same. But, if…

  Take the key. Fit into lock. Turn. Bingo.

  “Garreth, do you think Hadrian is manipulating Ryan?”

  My heart was pounding and I couldn’t take my eyes off his face. I was afraid to miss even the slightest reaction to my suggestion.

  “Yes, I do. I believe Hadrian is actively targeting the Guardians of those closest to you, to get to you.”

  I suddenly felt very sick.

  “How? How would he do that?”

  Garreth turned to face me in the tiny quarters of the Jeep, giving me his full attention.

  “This is a game for Hadrian, one he will do anything to win. The Guardians are not human. We have deep emotions, but our basic structure is thin. How do I explain this? Like a living soul that bounces between forms. Hadrian can take Guardians when they are in their weakest state, when they are occupied with their human charge. Whether it’s protecting or swaying a decision...changing fate.”

  “I would assume that’s when a Guardian would be at its strongest,” I interjected.

  “Quite the opposite. It’s the most vulnerable state.”

  I chewed on this for a moment. Garreth was vulnerable right now just by being with me. It was I who was putting him in danger.

  “Then what happens to the person whose Guardian falls into that sort of predicament?”

  Garreth gazed at me reluctantly, and then began.

  “There is an immediate change to the human the moment a Guardian is corrupted. A change so significant, both physically and mentally, that the only thing it can really be compared to is like a soul leaving a dying body.” He gauged my reaction and kept going. “Their body temperature even drops slightly as the protective warmth of their Guardian leaves them. It is replaced by something cold and malicious.”

  “Is that why you feel so warm when I touch you? Like when you gave me some of your internal light?”

  He nodded. “I don’t share the same composition as you. A Guardian appears substantial, even feels like flesh and blood to the touch, and runs several degrees warmer than a human does.”

  Garreth studied me intently. His expression was soft, but there was pain in his eyes. He took my hand in his.

  “Imagine the little spark of life deep inside you that convinces you what is right and what is wrong—what saves you from making poor decisions—saves you from danger. Imagine it suddenly ripped from you. The indecision and emptiness left behind would be much like a void so intolerable, so inconceivable it would drive the human insane.”

  I couldn’t imagine Garreth being ripped from me like that. I couldn’t even imagine words for what that would do to me. Garreth was so much a part of me, it would truly be like slicing myself in half.

  As if hearing my tormented thoughts unraveling thems
elves, Garreth placed his hand on my cheek and I leaned against its warmth.

  “Once the Guardian is removed, the human becomes the perfect puppet,” he whispered, staring out the window. “Without the life-light of the Guardian, that person is free to be molded into whatever Hadrian wants them to be.”

  He didn’t need to say any more. I knew what I had witnessed in Claire’s car and in the woods. It seemed as if it were too late for them now, with the exception of Lauren, perhaps. If it happened to the others, it would probably happen to her too. My only hope for any of them at this point was that things could somehow be restored, though how to go about that, I had no idea. Hadrian would soon be in control and we were all powerless to stop him.

  Garreth shifted into Drive and the car was moving once again. In the silence, I played the night over and over again, trying to make sense of what I had seen, of what it meant. I pulled Garreth’s warm hand into my own, cradling it in my lap, as if keeping a hold on him. I wouldn’t let Hadrian claim him. I wouldn’t let Hadrian rip my Guardian away from me. My fingers found their way to the lines embedded in his palm. His mark.

  “Hadrian’s is different.”

  “Excuse me?”

  Garreth looked over at me. “Hadrian’s mark. It’s different. It’s shaped like two squares overlapping.”

  Thanks to my curiosity and research on the computer earlier, I knew exactly what Garreth was describing to me, as though I was meant to know all along. If I remembered correctly, the double-squared star stood for separation and conflict, not only representing Hadrian for the type of Guardian he chose to be, but more importantly...his intentions.

  My street was just around the bend and I put my head on Garreth’s shoulder. It was finally sinking in. If Hadrian was indeed in control of Ryan’s Guardian then he had been watching me longer than I realized.

  And I had just left my best friend defenseless in the hands of something darker than she would ever know.

  Chapter Fourteen

  I was too worried to sleep but I couldn’t help closing my eyes as Garreth drove me home. Drifting off to a place far from the middle of the dark forest was inviting. But it wasn’t enough to shut out the dark faces and angry words plaguing me. Needless to say, to enter the world of sleep and escape would be a gift. Cradling against the hollow of his shoulder, I let the soothing scent of incense from Garreth’s presence fill my lungs, sustaining me as if he were the only air I would ever need.

  It was very late by the time we arrived home from Garreth’s successful search-and-rescue mission. I turned my key as quietly as I could, using the back door this time to let myself in. I tiptoed past my mother who had fallen asleep again on the couch in the living room, her arm dangling limply at her side, and quietly turned off the television with the remote. Her breathing reassured me that it wasn’t likely she would wake up anytime soon.

  I had a few moments to myself. It had been unlike me to invite Garreth to sneak into my room, but the very idea of letting my mind twist and play back the evening was too much for me to face alone. I felt too vulnerable. So I asked him to do for me what he’s always done...protect me, even if it meant protecting me from my own thoughts. He promised he would come to me once he parked the Jeep safe from view around the corner. Sleep was now weighing heavily on me once again and I didn’t pay much attention to how he was going to get in. Assuming he would find a way, I trudged upstairs.

  I peeled off my jeans followed by the brown sweater I had been wearing and stashed them in the hamper in my closet, slamming the lid with disgust as I thought about pulling the burrs off of the sleeves before my mom did the laundry. I replaced my dirty clothes with warm flannel pajama pants and a T-shirt and quickly began texting to Claire, not that she would be checking it anytime soon, let alone answering it. I had to know she was okay, and more importantly, I wanted to let her know that I was concerned. Ryan’s dark eyes kept creeping their way into my thoughts and I found my thumbs flying across the keyboard. Anything to get away from those dark, haunting eyes.

  UOK? TXTME

  I waited. Nothing. I slid the pad open again.

  ?4U. WTH? B&R??????? H8M!

  Silence.

  WRU@?

  I looked at the clock. It was well after one a.m. I would rather hear her voice than text her, but I had my suspicions she was still out with Brynn and Ryan. There was no way she would be able to hold a conversation.

  My anxiety was building, and as if knowing that I needed him, Garreth was sitting at the end of my bed by the time I turned around.

  “Tying up some loose ends?”

  “I guess. She’s probably not even home yet.”

  Something remotely similar to jealousy attached itself to my tone. I couldn’t help it. Claire was my best friend.

  “I just don’t get it. I don’t mind that she might choose to have a friend other than me, but...there are plenty out there that would be better than them. They’re not even likable, not to mention I can count a thousand times when she’s complained about Brynn Hanson.”

  Garreth patted the covers next to him, and I shuffled my way over. He pulled me to him without saying a word. His eyes were soft in the pale light of the streetlamp that found its way through my open window. Miraculously, I felt calm, as if he had erased the anxiety that had been simmering inside me.

  “How do you do that? How do you calm me?”

  “I can’t explain it too well. I picture myself being completely in tune with you. I breathe when you breathe. My heart beats when yours beats. I can time them perfectly to each other and then I just...slow it all down. It’s really very easy.”

  I grew reflective as I listened to Garreth, a memory surfacing in my mind.

  “What is it?” he asked me.

  I sat picking at the loose threads on my quilt, giving my hands some sort of purpose.

  “I was just remembering last year when Claire went on vacation with her family. It was the longest week of my life. I had to take the bus every day. I had to sit alone at lunch every day. Not one person offered to come sit and eat with me. Not even to talk to me. I sat there feeling sorry for myself, feeling like I didn’t belong like the rest of them. There was the jock table, the goth table, Brynn and her friends looking over every few minutes, laughing. But I sat alone. And you know? As I sat there, I realized that maybe there was nothing wrong with me—that maybe it was my own fault that I never tried to hang out with other people.”

  I looked at Garreth. The look on his face was so tender; there was no pity for me at all. It was as if he was remembering it right along with me.

  “I decided the next day I would try to weave myself into the lives of everyone else. I was even desperate enough to try it out on Brynn’s friends, that maybe if they accepted me, she would too. I was ready to sever my loyalty to Claire out of loneliness.”

  “But you would be severing loyalty to yourself,” Garreth said.

  “The following day,” I continued in a whisper, “that feeling was gone. There was a rhythm deep inside me that just magically appeared.” I let my gaze rest on him. “I felt that calmness you give to me. I recognize it now. It was you, wasn’t it?”

  Garreth tenderly swept a stray hair from my face, tucked it behind my ear, and nodded.

  I could accept now that angels existed, even remember when I had been touched by one. Garreth had always been with me. Always.

  His index finger absentmindedly traced my face, beginning at my now perpetually creased forehead, down my nose, to my cheek, where he let his hand stretch open, warming it. His thumb glided over my lips. Despite the calm he had just generated within me, I couldn’t help feel the increased pounding of my blood as it raced to my heart.

  His lips hovered just above mine, his breath warming my face, and I closed my eyes to accept his kiss. The instant his lips locked onto mine I felt we were moving, floating upward. I saw a glow behind my eyelids, as if someone had turned on the overhead light. Panicking, I opened my eyes and searched frantically for an excuse a
s I pictured my mother’s astonished face in the doorway, only she wasn’t there. My door, thankfully, was still closed. I looked at Garreth, searching for an answer but I was met with an overwhelming feeling of peace.

  I realized just then the magnitude of what it means to know your Guardian. What Garreth was sharing with me couldn’t be placed into words. What I was experiencing, what he was giving me, was raw emotion. The answers to my endless stream of questions were visible in his eyes...who he was, what he was...the strand that connected us. It was all there.

  Weightlessly, I was returned to the comforting mattress beneath me.

  “Sleep now. You’ve been through a lot tonight and I know you’re going to need all of your strength soon. If Hadrian has control of Ryan’s Guardian then he’s even closer than I thought.”

  I wanted to object and force myself to stay awake but sleep came after me like a warrior and I unwillingly surrendered. The night, the stress, the kiss rained down on me and I found myself soothed in my angel’s arms as he held me, his breath on my ear like a lullaby.

  “Stay,” I whispered, my fingers curling with his, holding him to me for the duration.

  I was beyond drowsy, my eyes refusing to open at that point. As sleep wove its way through my system, I felt reassured that nothing would dare linger in the shadows, not on this night.

  But I was wrong.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The star kept changing. At first, the points were clear, shimmering in the pale light of the descending sun of my dream, never failing to capture my soul the way it always did. Then the hand on which it was engraved closed, crushing it fiercely, then opened once again. Dust spilled from the open palm and overlapping squares would replace the eight-pointed star that had been embedded before it.

  This happened over and over, the constant change of one to the other. The beautiful star insisting it stay and the other overshadowing and pulverizing it. The squares always resurfaced, their outline glowing crimson, dripping, as if lined with blood. It sent me running through a dense wood that was strangely familiar.